Thursday, November 29, 2012 ' 5:39 AM
29.11.2012_Thursday_0908pm
After almost a month and im back..
i haben stop tearing every single day..
i hate takin medicine everyday..
But too bad becos im weak tis time round..
i got myself into depression stage.. who can i blame bcos im e stupid 1?..
When will i recover?.. Every1 is waitin for e old me to come back again..
M i ready?.. Ready to come back as e pass JES?..
i've got no confidence to stop tearing.. But i can act as happy as i am s usual?..
i getting no further tougher anymore.. e more im gettin is weaker..
My mentally tired is bringin me down..
I WAN MYSELF BACK PLS! RETURN MYSELF BACK TO ME!
i hate e feeling.. Soo empty till i feel afraid..
Afraid of NIGHTs.. Which i used to love party at NIGHTs..
Nobody noes at home regarding to my conditions..
i dunno how long i have to face it myself..
i miss my baby.. becos i kept rmbing how it feels inside..
Tis guilty is killing me.. i noe i have to face e facts..
Who can i turn to?.. Tis is e onli place when i got no1 to turn to..
Tis is e onli place i can be myself.. Tearin infront of my lappy..
Tokin nonsense to myself.. Ask myself to wake up..
I read some of my blogs backs in 2009..
inside of me tellin myself..
now 2012 and yet im still s stupid as ever..
i still belief in wat he told me..
and tis is wat i get in e end.. and wher is he?..
BASTARD~ and im a stupid bitch..
When will i ever learn to be clever?..
What am i suppose to do now?.. To stop crying and feeling empty and afraid of nights..
Doc told me it takes time.. but it still all in my mind..
if im negative enough i wun recover.. God Damn It..~
Soo how to stay Positive?.. When my frens are all in e catergories "Crazy" and "Negative"..!
Which i post on my FB status and get scoldin from all of dem.. =X
They r e best seriously~ I always noe tat they standby me.. Mentally..
I can feel how much they loved me~ As they really cares~
Im tryin hard to stand up again oso becos of all tis cute frens..
I dun belief im e weak 1.. I dun wana get defeated..
Im begging to let me stand again.. One more time..
i will become stronger den ever.. and i wun be stupid again..
......... Time for medicine and i should sleep already..
x3JesJes_0938pm
After almost a month and im back..
i haben stop tearing every single day..
i hate takin medicine everyday..
But too bad becos im weak tis time round..
i got myself into depression stage.. who can i blame bcos im e stupid 1?..
When will i recover?.. Every1 is waitin for e old me to come back again..
M i ready?.. Ready to come back as e pass JES?..
i've got no confidence to stop tearing.. But i can act as happy as i am s usual?..
i getting no further tougher anymore.. e more im gettin is weaker..
My mentally tired is bringin me down..
I WAN MYSELF BACK PLS! RETURN MYSELF BACK TO ME!
i hate e feeling.. Soo empty till i feel afraid..
Afraid of NIGHTs.. Which i used to love party at NIGHTs..
Nobody noes at home regarding to my conditions..
i dunno how long i have to face it myself..
i miss my baby.. becos i kept rmbing how it feels inside..
Tis guilty is killing me.. i noe i have to face e facts..
Who can i turn to?.. Tis is e onli place when i got no1 to turn to..
Tis is e onli place i can be myself.. Tearin infront of my lappy..
Tokin nonsense to myself.. Ask myself to wake up..
I read some of my blogs backs in 2009..
inside of me tellin myself..
now 2012 and yet im still s stupid as ever..
i still belief in wat he told me..
and tis is wat i get in e end.. and wher is he?..
BASTARD~ and im a stupid bitch..
When will i ever learn to be clever?..
What am i suppose to do now?.. To stop crying and feeling empty and afraid of nights..
Doc told me it takes time.. but it still all in my mind..
if im negative enough i wun recover.. God Damn It..~
Soo how to stay Positive?.. When my frens are all in e catergories "Crazy" and "Negative"..!
Which i post on my FB status and get scoldin from all of dem.. =X
They r e best seriously~ I always noe tat they standby me.. Mentally..
I can feel how much they loved me~ As they really cares~
Im tryin hard to stand up again oso becos of all tis cute frens..
I dun belief im e weak 1.. I dun wana get defeated..
Im begging to let me stand again.. One more time..
i will become stronger den ever.. and i wun be stupid again..
......... Time for medicine and i should sleep already..
x3JesJes_0938pm
She ends @
